Liz's Lair

An intro of sorts

February 18th, 2018

I’m still sorting out how this works. Wish there was a way to change the font…

Some of the settings have been changed, such as the rating. I bumped it to a PG13 because I have a potty mouth in real life. In my professional life and the PC forums I keep it reined in. The “real” me can swear life a sailor, frequently drop the F-bomb. Will try to warn folks if a post is going to be foul mouthed, but proceed with caution.

I asked Doc John for permission to have a blog to be able to process my reactions to the Metoo movement. Need I say that posts maybe triggery for those with abuse backgrounds? Again, proceed with caution.

When the Metoo movement started I wanted all those women to just SHUT UP!!! My anger at them confused me. Then I realized that if I listened to their stories I would have to face my own history. The more stories that were in the news the more I fell apart. I’m integrated from DID. I could feel fissures starting internally. My Little One (five year old terrified child) was screaming in terror. My protector alter wanted to kick some ass. I could feel the depression demon rattling its cage.

I talked to my pdoc. He said many of his patients were struggling. That was early December. Somehow, during the holidays a switch flipped in my head. I think it happened when I stopped trying to run from the memories and allowed them to just be. I’m no longer falling apart. I’m mad as hell. Not sure what, if anything, I’m going to do with the anger. What I do know is that I’m no longer trying to suppress it. Also know that anger is a powerful motivator for me.

I’m pleased to be able to say I’m starting to heal. The Little one believes me when I tell her I’ll keep us safe. The Protector is willing to let me take care of things. The depression demon is curled up in its cage again.

Peace out for now….

Welcome

February 1st, 2018

Bear with me folks. I’m sorting out how this whole thing works. Liz