Liz's Lair

betrayal

January 15th, 2019

Writing this is going to be a struggle, but it goes with my overall theme related to MeToo.

A co-worker was recently arrested for trading child porn. He never said or did anything at work that would have given him away.  My emotions are a jumble. I have a personal revulsion regarding child porn/abuse. How could someone I worked with do this? I’ve made some wicked comments in the past about what should be done to punish child abusers. Then I see similar comments about someone I know and I cringe. I’m not friends with this person. We just work for the same place. Still, how could someone I know do this?

I work in a profession helping kids. I know I’m not responsible for what other people do, but… others are likely to assume that any of us who worked with him must be like him. People have asked if I had any idea he had these interests. What the hell?!?!? I’d have reported the SOB if I knew. Actually I might have gone off on him if I’d known.

Management where I work is not doing anything to help us cope with the upset this caused. So far their biggest advice has been “don’t respond to the media.” Yeah, that does a lot to help with the sense of betrayal. Kind of feels like what the adults did when I was assaulted as a kid – don’t talk about it and it will go away.

I discovered some details about the kind of stuff he was viewing and trading. I’m grossed out and triggered.

 

I’m rambling. I need to talk about this, but can’t because of media attention…. *sigh*

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